Chronicles of my insanity

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Climbing to the Top of the Hill

[Note: Written several weeks ago.]

Tomorrow is my birthday.

In what is likely evident to everyone else (including my subconscience), I am avoiding dealing with the fact that this is a "big birthday." I planned more or less nothing in terms of celebrations on my birthday proper.  In fairness, I was born on December 25th.  Jesus typically sucks the wind out of any celebrations about me on that day.  I try not to complain too much about it -- after all it has been 40 years -- but sometimes you just want to be a self-indulgent princess on your birthday and do whatever you want on YOUR day.  But just about everything I want to do is closed (spas, museums, theatre) or off limits (biking or running -- more on this later).

So to carry on with the storyline of "it's not a big deal," I decided I wanted to volunteer on my birthday, as volunteering does in fact give me great joy. And since food is so important to me, to all of us, to social justice, I wanted to volunteer at a soup kitchen.  So I set about to contact all of the organizations in San Francisco that would be serving others on Christmas Day.  11 of them to be exact.  And all of them thanked me for my offer, but said that all their volunteer slots were full.  And would like I like to support them later in 2013?

I am thrilled that they don't need volunteers and so glad there are other people who also want to help.  Really, I am (hello, subconscience!).  But hearing this news did three things:  1) Made me feel even more frustrated about my birthday;  2) Made me feel like a jerk for saying no, I don't want to sign up and help you in 2013;  3) Made we realize that I should stop being a self-indulgent princess and deal with the fact that I'm turning 40 and offer to help organizations that need help.
Out on the Piute Pass Trail.  Note the TNT hat!

A little attitude adjustment later,  I realized it's really not about my birthday.  It's about my birthday YEAR!   And I should make each day of count.  So tomorrow, while I will not be volunteering at a soup kitchen, I will be having a Jewish Christmas (Melissakkah) -- seeing a movie and then going to a Chinese restaurant.  And the following week, we will be going to Austin for a week to see some great friends and celebrate the new year.

And because volunteering is so very good for my soul and spirit, I will be continuing on with Team in Training.  I will be fundraising for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in hopes of finding a cure for blood cancers and raising $3000.  And I will be pushing my own personal, physical, and emotional limits by training for the Tahoe Rim 50K Trail Run in July.

This is a big goal for me.  I'm not a strong runner.  I'm slow and haven't run in 3 months.  I'm currently recovering from a knee injury and am unclear how soon I can get back at the running.  But I'm not daunted by any of this.  In fact, I like the uphill challenge.  Moving forward, keeping my eye on personal goals, supporting a cause, being on trails every Saturday.  Doing this all with Chris, who will be coaching on our team. This all makes me extraordinarily happy.

As I start to look at this birthday directly in the eyes, I'll admit that it's a struggle to not take stock of my life and compare myself to others.  But in doing so, I realize that I have a lot to be happy about.  It's not about things I haven't done; nor it is about what I have done.   It's about how you go about living, growing, and changing.  Last week, I was thrilled to have breakfast with two of my great friends from college.  One of them commented on all of my recent endurance event activities.  Her husband kept saying, "You mean, Melissa?  From college?  Does triathlons, centuries, and marathons?"  Let's just say, eating nachos was a primary activity for me in college. . .

I realized that I have changed a great deal in some ways over the the last 20 year.  Don't get me wrong.  I still *love* nachos.  But I'm happy with who I am now and what I'm doing in my life.  It certainly isn't what I had envisioned for myself when I was 18 [which involved being a divorced, photojournalist, smoker, living in Paris -- I had a dark side back then clearly], but I am happy. And I think I will continue to be happy if I remember what brings me joy.

So on that note,  I couldn't really write a entry on this blog without asking for your help, could I?  Would you consider supporting me in my fundraising efforts?  Helping me with something that is really important to me and millions of people affected by blood cancers?  Come on.  It's my birthday.  Shouldn't I get what I want?  ;-)

Your donations are safe, secure and tax-deductible on the site below. Know that at least 75% of every dollar goes directly to support researchers, cancer patients, and their families and will make a difference in someone's life.

http://pages.teamintraining.org/sf/thrmtrer13/mcheung

Here are some suggestions for donations, if you need some inspiration:
  • $40 - 1 dollar for every year of my big birthday
  • $50 - 1 dollar for every kilometer I will attempt to run at the race
  • $310 - 10 dollars for every miles I will attempt to run at the race (for those who want the miles conversion)
  • $75 - 1 dollar for every month I will be training on the trails
  • $100 - 100 dollars for every time I've run 26.2 miles or more
  • $250 - $10 for every plate of nachos I will likely eat during the training season
http://pages.teamintraining.org/sf/thrmtrer13/mcheung

Onward, upward and over the hill!

Much love and peace in the new year.

Melissa


PS.  If your company does matching, please let me know. Happy to help with any paperwork!

PPS. I just read the tagline for the race I've signed up to do.  A glimpse of heaven . . .and a taste of hell.  Ooophf.