Minor Set Backs; Major Mindshift

Tape to get me through.

Two weeks ago, I set out on my long run along the Embarcadero and Crissy Field.  My friend Eileen joined me for the first 5, which was delightful.  Great to have company on these runs.  I then parted ways with her and continued on with my run-walk regime.  I was feeling great for the first 8 miles.  And then suddenly, I started to feel blisters coming on, which was odd.  My shoes have very few miles on them so it didn't seem right.  But I pressed on, knowing I could deal with a few blisters for 5 more miles.   1 more mile passed and the blisters were the least of my worries. I suddenly had sharp shooting pain in the right foot and could barely walk. Stretching and resting did not seem to help.  I had no cash with me for a bus, and  unfortunately, I was still 4 miles from home.  So I hobbled home at a rate that got me back to the gym just before dark.  By the time I got off the BART my foot could barely take any weight.  So I had to call Chris to come pick me up to drive me home 3 blocks.

At the time, I just dismissed this all as potentially related to my re-occurring plantar fascitis.  I stuck my foot in an ice bucket, and dismissed it as no big deal.

I woke up the next morning though, and could still not walk at all. So I called my doctor, who has gotten me through many a training mishap.  As soon as he looked at me, unable to bear weight on my foot, he quickly said that it might be a stress fracture.  As I heard those words come from his mouth,  I could feel a wave of panic roll over me.  Stress Fracture = no walking = no running = no riding = no Death Ride and no Barb's Race.  What have I done to myself?  I ruined the whole Death Ride with one stupid run.  20 weeks of training and now nothing.  The pit in my stomach grew.

Kristie and me slogging up a hill.

My MRI was scheduled for the next morning.  That night Chris did his very best to make me feel better. He gave me the old well-intended "getting injured is part of endurance event training" speech, which helps only marginally.  I spent the evening trolling the deadly internet for information on anyone who had a miraculous recovery from a stress fracture and could do something like the Death Ride.  Medical info trolling was not what I needed at the time.  I found no tidbit of info that indicated I could do the Death Ride. And I also had convinced myself that I had some rare tropical disease where your tendons and bones start to decay, calcium deficiency, and host of other tragedies.

By the time I got to the MRI, I was raging, depressed mess.  After the scan, they told me they would send the results to my doctor immediately.  I spent the next 6 hours at work staring at my phone, which apparently does not make it ring.  So I finally gave up and drove home.  And of course, as I was driving, Dr. R calls.  I nearly kill myself trying to pull over.    The verdict:  No Stress Fracture!!

To shorten this already too long post, it was a pulled tendon in my foot.  I was to ice aggressively for the next few days, stay off my feet, and stop running completely.  I was allowed to do short rides.   I rode 30 miles with the team on Saturday (they were doing 70), and a few 20 milers the following days.  It hurt just a bit while riding and continued to hurt when I walked.  Some progress but not what I wanted.

Yesterday (Saturday), the team was doing our peak ride - 120 miles and 12,000 feet of climbing.  I told this to Dr. R when I saw him on Friday.  He said, "This is going to be psychologically hard for you, but no riding more than 60ish miles." Ugh.  I have already been out one week and now this -- the last hard ride cut in half?

Using every ounce of restraint, I more or less followed his orders.  I ended up riding 72 miles, but my excuse is that the last 8 were downhill and flat. . . .  But the good news is that it didn't hurt at all while I rode.

Artsy rid moment.

I got back from the ride several hours before the rest of the team.  As I waited I started to reflect on the last few months. I started to internalize all of the hard work we've done training for this event over the last 22 weeks.  I realized that I am now so much more comfortable on my bike than I was when I began.  I've gotten over my fear of descending.  I can actually participate in a paceline effectively.   I can do a 13 mile climb and still be conscious at the end of it. I have tried every brand of chamois butter available and discovered the perfect pair of bike short.  I can also eat, take off pieces of clothing, and shoot snot rocket while riding.  And I have the most wicked tan lines you've ever seen.

And mostly what I realized was that I felt strong.  After 72 miles and a lot of climbing, I felt like I could have done it again.  I realized I was ready for the Death Ride, even if I had to cut short the last few rides.   And I realized what a major mindshift this was for me.  22 weeks ago, even 4 weeks ago, I would have not even imagined feeling like this.  Something clicked over in my mind along the way when I was busy complaining about a ride.  I guess I am ready!

Two weeks to go.  One easy ride next weekend and then we're off.  It has been an amazing journey so far.  And I can't wait to see how it ends.

And you can help me finish strong with a final fundraising push!  Please can you help us find a cure for blood cancers?