3 weeks of what?

So we're in week 3 of our 5.5 month training season. The first few weeks of any season are usually exciting.  I get to buy more gear (woot!).  I start to organize and structure my weeks to get the right workouts in (Type A personality loves structure. Woot again!)  I slowly come out of exercise hibernation and start to feel strong.

But yesterday, while limping along on a recovery run I had a brief moment, where I thought, "what have I done signing up for this event?"  I can say right now, as I mentally scan my body, about 3/4 of it is aching or is sore.  The other 25% is exhausted.  This is not necessarily a new feeling for me, but to get to this stage on Week 3 was slightly disturbing.   I know everyone said this would be hard.  I know Chris warned me.  And I fully expected it to be hard, but maybe after 2 or 3 months -- when we're riding 80+ miles and climbing 10,000 feet.  Not in week 3 of the season.

I've also had this 3 week unpleasant relationship with biofeedback data, which has contributed to my questioning my decisions.  So generally, I love data.  I love spreadsheets (Type A personality again). I love maps and visualizations of information.  A few weeks ago I went to get my bike fit.  The lady who was doing it hooked up my bike to a computer so I could see my power output and analyze my pedal stroke.  Turns out I'm left-legged.  I didn't know you could be legged, first of all.  Secondly, I was astonished to see that I use my left leg to power me about 85% of the time.  My right leg limps along at 15% power.  Furthermore, all I use is my left quad.  Apparently my hamstrings and glutes are completely dead to me.

This was fascinating information at first -- great feedback.  I have some concrete steps to work on.  I could, potentially improve my cycling efficiency significantly.    But then as I started to think about it, and in my own hyper-sensitive way, started to interpret the data to mean that I've been cycling wrong these past 6 years.  The basic thing that a child does at play, I do wrong.

So while that is festering in my psyche, Chris starts really getting into learning about Lactate Threshold training.  This is a way to train that relies heavily on you monitoring your heart rate and not going above a certain level.  He even helps me get his old heart rate monitor set up so I can use it to monitor my heart rate, which was very nice of him.  Yesterday, I strapped on the monitor and went for a short recovery jog in our neighborhood.  Within in a few minutes of running, the watch is beeping and flashing all sorts of warning at me basically telling me I am training too hard, that I am in the danger heart rate zone.  So I slow down.  And it keeps flashing.  And I slow down some more.  And it keeps flashing.  So I slow to walk.  Still flashing.  Then I start strolling, slowly, hardly walking.  Finally get my heart rate into the "zone."  Turns out, I shouldn't be running at all. Or even walking briskly.  And again with the self-destructive talk, I interpret this to mean that I don't even know how to run correctly.

Crystal Springs Reservoir.  It's pretty but the wind was fierce.

OK. So I know this is all silly and batty.  And maybe more than you wanted to know about my psyche.  But this is what bio feedback data seems to have done to me these past 3 weeks.

But I finally got a good nights sleep and am taking a day off with no exercise to rest and recover.  And I'm realizing that I always do this.  The first weeks of training are always hard, and I always beat myself up about thing I shouldn't especially when the going gets tough.  The reason I continue to push myself and train for these types of events is because I like getting through the hard stuff.  I like improving. 

I may never be a super cyclist or runner, and those damn machines may always beep at me, but I don't really do it to win or even be fast.  I do it because I love being outside, being healthy, challenging myself and helping support an important cause.

On to a new week of new challenges!