Quiet Triumphs

Today after a very slow start in the morning, Chris and I headed down to Woodside (about 30 min south) for a bike ride.  Chris, even in his least fit form, is way faster and stronger than I am on the bike.   We rarely ride together because of this, and because I tend to work myself up into a frenzy alternating between "I'm so slow and pathetic" and "He's having a terrible time because he has to stop so much and go so slowly."  Self-pity and hyper-sensitivity all in one ride.  It makes me *super* fun to be with.

But today, I was determined to work on the old quieting the mind concept.  After negotiating with Chris for a long time about which route to take (his vote was for a Skyline climb - 35 miles 4000 ft of climbing), we settled on 27 miles with 2 climbs on Old La Honda (2400 ft or so), which still seemed an awful lot to me. But in the spirit of quite minds, I put aside my panic and self-doubt and hopped on the bike, happy to be riding with him.

The first climb started after 6 miles of fairly flat easy roads.  It's  about 1300 ft in 3.4 miles on beautiful, windy roads with amazing views.  It's an average of 7.2% grade, which I guess isn't too steep as these things go, but it was a tough, tough, climb for me.   It took us about 45 minutes or so to climb it.  I went through the classic hill climbing phases for me:  1) nervous 2) self doubt  3) talking to one self to calm down  4) focused 5) determined.  Hearing usually goes all wonky at this phase.  6) legs in agony and wondering when it will ever end 7) sheer will to completion 8) want to vomit.

The second climb was much less steep, but my legs and ego were shot.  The long decent back to Woodside also scared me a bit, especially with all of the traffic on the roads.  I worked on just focusing on enjoying the ride, but my self-doubt and hypersensitivity got the better of me.  "Chris is waiting again."  "The cars behind me an upset with me because I'm going so slowly."  "I'm going to crash and die on this lame ass descent." Etc.

But I completed the ride, Chris didn't seem terribly annoyed, and I climbed a hill I've always wanted to climb.  So I'd call that a physical success.  And though the voices in my head were louder than I would have liked, they seemed a touch quieter than in the past, and I'm glad we did the ride.  So I'd also call that a quiet triumph, too.  

Then I got to eat a chimichanga.  So that made the whole day worthwhile :-)