Chronicles of my insanity

Saturday, March 22, 2008

I am a Rock Star


I love the feeling of being a rock star. In my line of work and with my personality, I mostly don't qualify as rock star material. But when I come out of the 49.1 degree water in the San Francisco Bay from our first open water swim, I feel like a rock star (in my own little world)! It's such an amazing feeling!

When I first entered, I had a short-lived panic attack as the cold water weighed heavily upon my chest. People were kicking me and splashing Bay water in my mouth. The water was murky - I couldn't see my hands while I was swimming. My face was stinging painfully, and then it went numb. The cold water slowly snaked its way through my wetsuit sending shocks from different parts of my body to my core.

But then I find a groove. I'm concentrating on my breathing. Long exhales, stroke, stroke, stroke, breathe. I am all alone, listening to my breathing and my heart beating. I have earplugs in, so all of the yelling and kicking going on around me fades into the muted background. I look up occasionally to sight my direction and I see Chris sitting on a surfboard just over my shoulder, which is comforting. I put my face back in darkness. It is just me, the water, and 2 feet of visibility, and I am strangely happy.

After half an hour or so, someone get my attention and tells me it's time to go in. I swim to shore and am exhilarated. It was cold, miserable and awful, but I feel amazing for having done the swim.

Each workout, we have a dedication to a survivor or victim of cancer. Today, my thought were with Frankie, 29, a brother of one of our teammates. He's struggling from pneumonia and lymphoma. The prognosis is not good for him. I think of him and wish he could be outside in the glorious, sunny day with us, feeling as great as a I do. I am thankful to be doing what I am doing, and hoping that our small fundraising efforts make a difference.

1 comment:

J said...

SUPERstar, not just a rock star!